American Idolatry

Yes, I went to the American Idol finale on Wednesday night. It was my graduation gift from my sister, who managed to chisel her way to two tickets! So, you wonder, how was it?

IT WAS INSANE!!!!

Seriously, it was RIDICULOUS. Here is a recap of the evening.

First, we meet up with Camryn Manheim (of The Practice) and a few of her friends – my sister and Camryn are quite good friends and she is going to try to improve our seats. Then we mill about the theater for a while while Camryn walks the red carpet with her friend DeeDee who is on HBO’s The Wire (I have never seen this show. According to DeeDee, nobody has!). So, we drop them off at the carpet and meet them about 30 minutes later at Origins in the mall, where the head of Fox Publicity is standing handing out tickets to all kinds of famous people and other well-connected Angelenos. I notice Lisa Rinna’s lips immediately and sure enough Harry Hamlin and their weird little children are in tow. Ray Romano, Joely Fisher and some other celebrities and B-listers come in to claim their seats. Missy (Publicity woman) tells my sister and I to hang tight until about 430 or so, when she will know if she has extra/better tickets to give us in exchange for our decent-but-not-great seats. So, we hang around in Origins for about 30 minutes. Us and Anthony Michael Hall. Yes, indeed. The most famous geek of our generation was trying to score Idol tickets! Finally, at about 445, Missy tells us that it appears that Brian Wilson (yes, the Beach Boy) isn’t coming and won’t be using his four box seats. So, Anthony Michael Hall (who apparently goes by Michael) and his girlfriend get two and we get the other two! Off we go!! (Incidentally, a while later as we are sitting in "our" box, my sister spots the one and only Brian Wilson in what seem to be our old seats; his arms are crossed and he is frowning. Hopefully this is just because he wasn't enjoying himself and not because some clowns snagged his box seats!)

So, we have these insane box seats. They aren’t the best seats ever because we are kind of high up, but we have a box so we can be up and dancing the whole time. And the fact that Anthony Michael Hall is in there with us hasn’t gotten old for me! Anyway, not sure if you watched the show but if you did you know how insane the guest stars were. Burt Bachrach, Dionne Warwick, Al Jerrau...all very interesting but kinda old folks (although Dionne was fantastic!). But when Katherine and Meat Loaf – Meat Loaf, who was the first concert I ever went to and I have vivid memories of being up at the stage and his sweat dripping on me; this is not a memory that fades lightly! - my sister and I were up on our feet dancing all around our box (and probably freaking out AMH and his girlfriend). The real highlight (at least until the next highlight) came when Mary J Blige and Elliott did “One Love” - that was when I started to lose my voice. It was nothing short of phenomenal. That woman is insanely talented and their version of that song was flawless. If Chris couldn’t win, Elliott should have. That was clear. It was also clear, by the way, that the audience LOVED Chris the most (just based on the ridiculous amount of screaming every time he set foot on the stage) and that Elliott wasn’t far behind.

The high point of the show, however, was when Ryan Seacrest said, “Okay folks. That’s it for special guests, no more surprises tonight.” At which point I turned to my sister and said, “For sure there is one more surprise.” Not because I am so smart, mind you. But because Seacrest is a dipshit. And so then I see these two women in weird outfits go to the middle of the stage and they are fussing with these microphones while Seacrest is blathering on about something or other. And then the lights go down and this little man, fabulously dressed in a purple suit with an earnestly 80s hairdo sashays onto the stage. And my sister and I literally start screaming – well, us and the two thousand other people in the theater. Even Anthony Michael Hall got to his feet (and took off his sunglasses) for this one! “PRINCE! Holy shit! Prince!?!??!” That’s what my sister and I kept saying to each other over and over. Screaming. Dancing. Jumping. But mostly screaming.

After that, who cared who won?

Seriously, one of the highlights of my meager existence. I am still buzzing from the experience!