Back in the Saddle

The great thing about this MBA being almost over is that I have lots of time to do the things I like to do. And now that all my official duties as an organizer of school activities are over I have even more time! So, for example, this morning I went on a fabulous bike ride! The sun was shining and the air was crisp. I rode from my place through the Presidio, over the Golden Gate Bridge and up the Marin Headlands. When I got to the top (which was not easy, as I have not been on my bike since April 2005), I looked down over the spectacular and shining San Francisco cityscape and laughed. How did I discover this place? Not that I found it first, but just that I found it at all! The Marcy who moved here in 1995 was such a different person than the Marcy who lives here now. That Marcy could not have known that she would become a person who rides her bike on a Wednesday morning to the top of the Marin Headlands! Well, it was a glorious way to start the day.

I WANT IT!!
There is nothing worse than wanting something. Really wanting it. And there is a job that I want so badly it keeps me awake at night. Literally. The night before my initial phone interview with HR, I barely slept a wink. But the interview went well (I think) and I sent in my writing samples and now I wait. And wait. And wait. And hope and pray that they call me for the next phase. I am trying to be patient but to be honest, patience has never been my strong suit. And I want it so badly that I cannot even talk to anyone about it - I just start screeching! Very few people even know I interviewed at all and those people are not allowed to ask me about it unless I bring it up. Because I want it so badly that it hurts. And I cannot control it. I am totally at their mercy. And that, out of everything, is the hardest part. Trusting and being confident that they would be TOTALLY NUTS not to hire me! In my heart of hearts I truly believe that there is not a better person for this job. But that's way deep down. Day-to-day it is harder to access the heart of hearts. So instead I obsessively check my email and stare at my mobile phone waiting for it to ring.