It's Not Just Me

Alexis called me today crying. She had an interview this morning that, in her opinion, did not go well. She yearns to work in the wine industry and has been extremely focused on that during school - all her projects, activities, internship and classes have revolved around the wine industry in one way or another. And, like me, she is having a hard time finding a position that is in her sweet spot. So she called me after hanging up with her mother. That was basically me last Thursday. I had my meltdown then and Alexis had her version today (although truth be told hers didn't sound like it was quite on the scale of my meltdown!). I wonder if this is typical for business school. If at MBA programs everywhere there is a core group of people staring graduation in the face who have no job and no great prospects for a job. And these people call each other and cry. And their friends who have jobs tell them not to worry but that's easy for them to say. And then one by one more and more people get offers. And as the "core" group of people with no job and no job prospects gets smaller, we find ourselves only able to talk to each other because the other people do the head-tilt pity thing while talking to you and then, when you walk away, turn to the next person and plan their summer travel to Indonesia.

I sent an email today to the HR person at "dream job #1." That was my last effort at proactive outreach with them. I eagerly await the rejection postcard that must be coming in the mail. I wonder if she sits at her desk reading my email and wondering why I still have not received that postcard!

When Will I See Him Again?
Are Jason and I even dating? What does that mean anyway? Most importantly, when will I see him again? I want him to invite me to visit. I don't want to invite myself because I want to know that he actively wants me to visit, not just that he is willing to entertain me if I do. I know, I am crazy. I wish I could talk to him and just say, "WTF?" and get that whole conversation over with. But I am not ready for that conversation. I am still unsure about where I want this to go (if anywhere). So I don't want to initiate the "state of the relationship" discussion just yet. But I do want to feel like I can call him whenever I feel like calling him and like I can visit him - or at least suggest doing so - whenever I feel like it.

Maybe I need to just nip this whole thing in the bud because the chances of it turning into something I ultimately want are slim. Why can't I do that? Why do I insist on letting it occupy so much of my mind? In truth, I think it's a good distraction technique as I suffer through the job market rejection!