SEVEN MONTHS

Peter and I broke up seven months ago. I would say it took me about three months to really get over Peter. You know, to not think about him longingly; to not wonder what might have been if I had just wanted to move to Budapest, be a housewife and be less Jewish (all the things he wanted from me when we got married). My first post-Peter kiss was at a Halloween party. And I have been on one date - with an ex! (and even that was not officially a date, but for all intents and purposes it was). Jaddy from our trip to Mexico doesn't count. That was just a vacationship! So, here I am seven months later, getting ready to graduate. I think about Peter from time to time with mostly nice feelings. I mean, we broke up because of circumstance. That was part of what made getting over him difficult - we were in love. We wanted to get married. But love and desire weren't enough. So I focused for three solid months on moving on. I felt my feelings. I was sad. I was angry. I wondered.

And then one day I woke up and I felt good about it all. I was grateful for all I got out of that relationship. How much Peter loved me and how well he treated me. How he accepted me for who I was. He let me be funny, which was hugely important. He wasn't threatened by how smart I am because he knew how smart he was. He was a great communicator and a great fighter. He was right. A lot. And he taught me how to be wrong. I felt lucky to have had the chance to live overseas with him. To see another culture and to learn so much about myself there. And, after three months of grieving, I felt ready to face the prospect of dating again.

After the Halloween kiss there was the debacle of AN, the smoking first year who ended up passing out in my bed while I slept on my couch. Then, after some of the hubbub of moving and Winter break (where I met Jaddy the Aussie), I went on a date. It was with an ex. But it was fun. And it was nice to connect with a man again in that way. That was two months ago. I haven't been on any dates since. I have not met anyone I would go on a date with. Well, except for the bike race guy, and that turned out to be a blip on the radar. Truthfully, I am focused on getting a job and getting out of school. Then I can date.

And then on Monday of this week I found out that Peter is getting married. In June. To someone else. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?